Slumdog: no, no, no!

AM I really the only person in the western hemisphere not to like Slumdog Millionaire?
Actually, I know the answer to that question. My wife didn't like it much either. But she didn't take against it quite so violently as I did, and with the usual critic's antennae twitching, I have been turning over why I found this Oscar shoo-in quite so objectionable.
Part of it is the script, by Full Monty writer Simon Beaufoy. It seems to me to be ramshackle, incoherent and needlessly unpleasant. Incredibly, it won the Golden Globe.
Part of it is the direction, in which Danny Boyle transposes Trainspotting to the slums of Mumbai and gives us plenty of gritty realism but no humour or contrast to leaven the distasteful diet. Incredibly, it won the Golden Globe.
Part of it is the pacing, which is unforgivably interrupted by the leaden device of the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire framing, although it has to be said that most of the dramatic tension comes from the TV show scenes - and I would rather have watched an hour of that than two of this seedy nonsense.
Incredibly, it won the Golden Globe.
And there's another thing: this is being sold as "the feelgood movie of the decade". Feelgood? If this is a feelgood film, what does that make Trainspotting - a light romance?
Now the Oscars are bearing down on us and it looks like not even Kate Winslet can stop the juggernaut of hype behind Slumdog. Does it matter? Not in the grand scheme of things - not compared to the life-and-death daily struggle of the real slumdogs in Mumbai, whose horrific existence is exploited for entertainment purposes here.
But I would be fascinated to ask the Academy members who vote for it just what they see that is passing me by.